don’t rb, tbd

as a disabled person i have been very much upset by things j/enna marbl/es has said and done in the past (iirc she used to use the r slur and she did that “conjoined twins challenge”), none of which she addressed in her apology video btw, but like maybe i’m just so used to people being ableist and never finding any content anywhere that doesn’t have at least a little bit of ableism in it, but i genuinely don’t really care what she said or did ten years ago, i’m really sad she’s leaving youtube, her videos have been such a calming presence in my life while i deal with a world of shit so. yeah i’m just sad. it’s good that she apologized for doing racist “jokes”, and most importantly it’s good that she has moved on from edgy, offensive humor and grown up. as someone who has been hurt by her old content, i think she does good stuff now and moving on is enough for me. obviously you don’t have to agree or whatever but i’m upset and sad and feel robbed of a source of comfort. idk the discourse on tumblr about it is so fucked. like it’s one thing that ppl call her out for her content, holding people accountable is right and good, but it’s another to be spiteful especially if you’re not actually affected. that’s just performative allyship, which isn’t helping anyone, and if a rather privileged person does that sort of thing it really reads like an attempt to gain power inside a movement that isn’t yours. but maybe i’ve just met too many abusive people in social justice circles. people grow up in a bigoted society and it takes time and effort to unlearn things, so i think we should celebrate stories of personal growth rather than compulsively looking for a hole in them. i’m not even defending j/enna, there’s actually even more videos that she should have deleted/privated and apologized for imo, but oof being a public persona on the internet is impossible. everyone’s gonna fuck up, what matters is if and how they own up to it